Let’s Talk Bookish: Non-Romantic Love

Let’s Talk Bookish is a weekly meme that was originally created and hosted by Rukky @ Eternity Books starting in August 2019, and was then cohosted with Dani @ Literary Lion from May 2020 to March 2022. Book Nook Bits has hosted since April 2022, with Dini at Dini Panda Reads as co-host from February 2025.

Ah this is great – non-romantic love often gets overlooked, but it absolutely can impact us as much as romantic love! And any relationship ending comes with grief, but it’s something that doesn’t feel like it’s explored in books as much as romance. So this is definitely going to be a topic I have thoughts on!

Let’s Talk Bookish February 21st:
Non-Romantic Love
(Dini)

 Prompts: It’s the month of love but it’s not always about romantic love. What are your favourite non-romantic relationships to read about (i.e. siblings, parent-child, etc.) and what do you love most about them? Do you prefer to read about them over romantic relationships? What books would you recommend with your favourite non-romantic relationships?

I think like most things, when it’s done well, I enjoy almost all forms of love portrayed in fiction. I think parent-child can be really effective, and siblings are such an important part of our lives (if you have them), that they can be an absolute gold mine in fiction. Then there’s friends, equally as important, and who can have a huge influence on the character, and therefore the plot. Then, of course, there’s the idea of found family, which can be made up of various relationships.

I think it can be genre-dependent, too – it’s great in romance books when the MC has friends around them and a small community outside of their romance, but I think romance also offers a great route to finding that community, especially as in something like contemporary, the romance itself can bring a previously lonely character into the community of another – it’s not just gaining a partner, but parent and sibling figures as well as friends.

If we take a genre like horror, there’s something incredibly powerful in the way some writers use the parent-child relationship. There’s no doubt the majority of parents would go to hell and back for their children, and at times horror writers can use this fairly literally. Or the loss of a child can push a parent into a very dark place, meaning – in horror – they’ll do things they normally wouldn’t if it means getting that child back or maybe seeking revenge. This, like many things, can also apply to fantasy and sci-fi, but once you cross into certain aspects of speculative fiction, there’s endless possibilities in sibling relationships. This could be siblings pitted against each other or siblings conspiring or confusion within a family.

What I love most about these kind of relationships are the possibilities. With romantic love, either the couple ends up together or they don’t. With other forms of love, maybe the end is separation of some form, but with a likelihood of seeing each other again. Saying that, whereas if a couple split up it doesn’t matter if they do see each other again, if you want a tragic ending, you can completely separate people who love each other in a non-romantic way, and have it hit with a greater impact. It might be via death or other worlds or some form of magic, but I always find one of the most impactful tropes (when done well!) is where one character forgets the other even exists.

I often find this particular trope to be pretty devastating, and it can really draw out the emotions. It can be used in romantic situations, too, of course, but something about it feels more upsetting when it’s a parent-child, siblings or friends.

I don’t think I prefer one or the other – of course, when I’m reading romance, it’s the romantic love that takes centre stage and I’m reading it because of that, and if that relationship is flimsy, the whole book can fall apart! However, even in romance I like those non-romantic relationships to be present in some way, and outside of romance, I do like romance subplots, but again, I think the other kind of relationships can have a huge impact, and I like reading a variety of relationships.

As for book recommendations…

Parent-Child: Laurel Hightower’s work often deals with parent-child relationships in a horror context, and she does it brilliantly. Whispers in the Dark, Crossroads and Silent Key all deal with mothers, but in various ways.

N.K. Jemisin’s The Broken Earth trilogy has Essun, who is trying to find her daughter after her husband murdered her son and kidnapped their daughter, taking her across a sci-fi/fantasy dystopian landscape. It’s powerful, and one of the first books I think of for parent-child relationships.

The Saga graphic novel series is also very good when it comes to parent-child relationships; we see it not just with the main family, but extended families too, as well as introducing side characters who are, in one way or another, parents themselves.

Siblings: Seven Devils and Seven Mercies both explore sibling dynamics in interesting ways. Horror novel All The White Spaces is haunted by the protagonist’s deceased brothers, and Six Crimson Cranes has the protagonist trying to cure a curse on her six brothers. The Never Tilting World hinges on the fate of twins, while you have the Bergman siblings featured in romance, If Only You, while the series itself follows each sibling to their HEA.

Found Families: Found families may contain romantic relationships, but it’s made a family by the wider group. I mentioned Seven Devils and Seven Mercies under siblings, but it’s a lovely example of a found family, too. As is The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches.

As always with these, they are just a small, select few from the books I’ve enjoyed – there are whole worlds out there full of these non-romantic relationships. And if you have any suggestions for me for similar sort of books, or books you’ve loved featuring non-romantic relationships, I’d love to hear them!